As I sat in the garden this morning having a cup of tea I heard the throaty crackle of machine gunfire from the neighbours garden. Reaching for my browning high-power I put nine rounds down range and ended up winging an alien that had infiltrated the neighbours shed. We argued over who got to keep the body, but I ended up putting it in the garden waste bin that was picked up this morning.

In other news, the roses have come out and I have tried killing all the slugs with biological warfare.